twonk

• (UK) IPA^(key): /twɒŋk/

• Audio (Southern England)

  (file)

• Rhymes: -ɒŋk

Blend of twit +‎ plonker

twonk (countable and uncountable, plural twonks)

1. (British, slang, countable) A stupid person.
   • 1985, Only Fools and Horses (TV series), "It's Only Rock and Roll" (episode)

     You dozy little twonk, Rodney. You bang again on the roof of my van like that and it won't be Frankie Goes to Hollywood, it'll be Rodney goes to hospital.

   • 2015 February 11, Trev Downey, “Reasons to Believe”, in The Liverpool Offside‎:

     The absolute state of you, Downey, you utter twonk. Like you have anything to do with the outcome of the bloody match! You need to confine this superstition malarkey to a flaming skip.

2. (British, slang, uncountable) Nonsense; rubbish.

   What twonk you are talking!

Possibly onomatopoeic

twonk (third-person singular simple present twonks, present participle twonking, simple past and past participle twonked)

1. (transitive, British, slang) To hit or slap.